What to say? That’s the unending question. I recently posted on LinkedIn asking for help with a project that I’d like to bring to fruition. I feel like I’ve made decent progress, but have hit a bit of a snag with it. For me, the real problem is in being as vulnerable as I was — I admitted to being ignorant in areas I feel I shouldn’t be. I always feel like I should be able to resolve any issues I come across on my own, but I also intellectually understand that that isn’t a realistic expectation of anyone, really. I just have a really hard time getting past it.
For years now, I’ve had this idea that failing, and not being afraid of failing, is what really allows people to progress, to learn, and to improve their skills. I’ve always had the issue of feeling like anything that I do should be a finished product, though, and that has led to me not putting myself out there. This is something that I’d really like to move past, however, and I guess that post on LinkedIn and this one are a small part in that journey.
Just to make the point a bit further, I’ve been reticent to post anything due to fear that my writing isn’t up to snuff or that my thoughts wouldn’t be coherent enough or that I’d generally come across as an idiot. As such, this isn’t the easiest thing I’ve done, and as much as I’d like to continue posting just to practice and get better at writing and putting my thoughts to text and to be able to better organize my thoughts (and I guess just generally think better), I fear that I’ll just fall off again and this will be another thing that I’ll fail to keep up due to all of those fears.
As for the LinkedIn post and the project I’m working on, I’d really like to use those as a catalyst for improving my knowledge and skills, but I also worry about my ability to follow through on the project, and even more so, any collaboration. I’m not sure I’ll be able to do what I want, but it’s certainly something I’ll at least have in the back of my mind and that I’d like to return to. I probably really need an accountability partner who I can trust, but anyway… that’s for a later date, I suppose…